Beautiful Disaster

Beautiful Disaster

The new Abby Abernathy is a good girl. She doesn't drink or swear, and she has the appropriate percentage of cardigans in her wardrobe. Abby believes she has enough distance between her and the darkness of her past, but when she arrives at college with her best friend America, her path to a new beginning is quickly challenged by Eastern University's Walking One-Night Stand.

Travis Maddox, lean, cut, and covered in tattoos, is exactly what Abby needs—and wants—to avoid. He spends his nights winning money in a floating fight ring, and his days as the charming college co-ed. Intrigued by Abby's resistance to his charms, Travis tricks her into his daily life with a simple bet. If he loses, he must remain abstinent for a month. If Abby loses, she must live in Travis' apartment for the same amount of time. Either way, Travis has no idea that he has met his match.

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What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex (Blank Inside)

What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex (Blank Inside)

WHAT EVERY MAN THINKS ABOUT APART FROM SEX (blank inside) is a two hundred page book and every page is totally blank.

The front and back cover are realistic representations of a self-help pseudo-psychology book.

This book contains no words inside whatsoever - just two hundred blank pages and is a humorous talking point...

Brought to you by Sheridan 'Shed' Simove, performer, author of 'Ideas Man' (which has words in it), and novelty gift entrepreneur.

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Snodgrass Vacation

Snodgrass Vacation

An irreverent but hilarious spoof on Disney World and the people who love it.

Dave Jevik wasn't too happy to hear that his wife had scheduled a family vacation to Snodgrass World Resort with the Zandanels. Loudmouth Vinnie is hard to put up with for an hour, let alone a week. But when Vinnie spots wheelchair-bound George Van Morrison in first class on the flight to Florida, the dreaded trip takes on a sense of purpose. Van Morrison claims he was injured at a restaurant owned by a friend back home and the lawsuit has already been filed.

Dave and Vinnie just know he's faking it and they have a week at Snodgrass World to save the restaurant by proving it. They'll have to dodge fleets of wheel chairs and scooters long enough to expose him.

Vinnie's sharp-elbowed wife is indispensable as she leads the way past line-cutters, other people's obnoxious children and the maniac driving the scooter with the on-board colostomy bag. When they befriend a crotchety bartender back at the hotel, Dave and Vinnie unexpectedly tap an inside source that just might help them get their man.

Anybody who's ever taken a trip to Disney World will recognize the people and places in Snodgrass Vacation, a hilarious and irreverent satire of theme park life.

"This book was hilarious! I could relate to it on so many levels I felt the author was writing about me! From actually investigating worker's comp claims, to being stuck on vacations with obnoxious friends, to experiencing scouts and worms, I'm experienced it all first hand! It's hard to categorize this book as fiction! It was an absolute joy to read, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who has ever had the opportunity of being subjected to the antics of a theme park!" -- Smashwords review

"I loved this book, anyone who has been to Disney will see & identify with the characters in this story. It did have me laugh out loud several times." -- Smashwords review

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Clever is as Clever Does (The Clever Detective)

Clever is as Clever Does (The Clever Detective)

Book II in "The Clever Detective" series by Linsey Lanier.

Private investigator Stacey Alexander is wondering whether eye-poppingly handsome Prince Chad will ever say "I love you," when she learns a princess has been murdered in the kingdom and she's the only one who can figure out who did it.

This short story is about 6700 words.

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Still The One

Still The One

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join love and laughter in this sexy romance with a chick lit attitude! Special low price for a limited time on this previously print-published book. Bonus Features too!

Burke Winslow stands at the altar, ready to marry his business partner in a marriage of convenience. The minister solemnly asks: "If anyone here knows why this man and this woman shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

A rain-soaked, bedraggled Ally Fletcher limps down the aisle and shouts, "Stop the wedding!"

What follows is a funny, sexy romp that proves when there's love, passion never dies, it just smolders away until you toss some gasoline on it. Burke and Ally discover a rekindled passion that threatens to scorch them when they find themselves locked in a marriage - - of inconvenience!

With a cagey grandfather pulling Burke's strings, and an equally cagey grandmother manipulating Ally, can these two battling lovers peel away the layers of the past and discover the truth about their love and passion? Will the truth free them or put them asunder?

Throw in a pretend boyfriend for Ally and a scorned business partner left at the altar, and you have a rollicking good time - - Texas style! Sassy, sexy, and funny!

Originally print published, reviewers said: "Curse the talented Joan Reeves when she keeps you awake all night with her latest comedic romance, Still The One, romantic comedy at its best." (InPrint)

BONUS FEATURES:

Meet Joan Reeves

Excerpt from The Trouble With Love Joan Reeves

Excerpt from Video Vixen

Excerpt from In The Garden of Seduction, Book 2, The Garden Series

Excerpt from Jane I'm-Still-Single Jones by Joan Reeves

Amusing Book and Author Trivia

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Retirement Can Be Murder (A Jake Russo Mystery)

Retirement Can Be Murder (A Jake Russo Mystery)

When Jake Russo is transferred from a New York City beat to sunny Sarasota, his reporting life slows down. Instead of covering life in the big city, he's stuck writing puff pieces about bridge games and shuffleboard. His biggest challenge? Sticking to his diet.

That all changes when an older resident mysteriously dies on the beach. Jake has to figure out why and how she died. With the help of his bumbling octogenerian cameraman, Jake will have to overcome his lack of confidence and find the truth. He'll discover love, conspiracy, and surprising secrets in Florida's retirement communities.

Light as a day at the beach, this playful mystery is an early buffet of flirtation, intrigue, and senior citizens gone bad.

This book is about 70,000 words, or around 280 pages in a standard print edition.

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The Trouble With Love (Texas One Night Stands)

The Trouble With Love (Texas One Night Stands)

There's one rule for a one night stand: never see your one-time lover again. Ever. So what's a girl supposed to do if the tall, dark, and too-darn-yummy guy shows up at her office?

Texas girl Susannah Quinn fires the first round in a battle of the sexes then hangs on for dear life as the fun and games begin in this sexy romp that's hotter than a bowl of Texas chili!

Special low price to introduce TEXAS ONE NIGHT STANDS, a new series by Joan Reeves. Limited time offer on Book 1: THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE, a funny, sexy romance. Contains Bonus Features too!

To catch a thief, Susannah Quinn, a by-the-book deputy, and FBI Special Agent D. E. Hogan (just call me Hogan), pose as husband and wife and go undercover. Unfortunately, Susannah and Hogan have already been undercover – in a bed at the Houston hotel where they first met.

For her part, Susannah wishes her lapse in judgment would take a flying leap and land on Jupiter. Hogan, on the other hand, wants to get the contrary deputy back in his bed, but the complications caused by family – his and hers – pretty much guarantee that's never going to happen.

Throw in an over-the-hill Romeo and his lady love, a single mom determined to have her own love affair, and the charm of a small Texas town, and you get a story with heart and soul and passion. Lots of passion.

Can Susannah and Hogan, two mismatched lovers doing everything in their power to avoid falling in love, catch a thief and recover stolen jewels? The clock is ticking. They have only seven days – and nights – to complete their assignment and resist the sweet siren call of desire.

BONUS FEATURES:

Meet Joan Reeves

The Music of THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE

Excerpt from JUST ONE LOOK by Joan Reeves

Excerpt from DESIGNING WOMAN

Excerpt from IN THE GARDEN OF SEDUCTION

Excerpt from OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER by Joan Reeves

Collection of Quotations: Woman's Perspective on Sex, Love, and Life

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The Clever Detective

The Clever Detective

Book I in "The Clever Detective" series by Linsey Lanier.

After six years as a private investigator, Stacey Alexander has the strangest day of her life when she falls down a hollow tree and meets her new client, a nutty old dude with a crown who thinks he's a king.

She'd climb right out of there, except that the crazy dude wants her to find his missing son, the Prince. And that is one hot-looking male. She'd be crazy herself not to take this case.

This short story is about 4700 words.

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DEAD(ish)

DEAD(ish)

Linda's had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body. Mike won't tell her what he did with her body, and she can't find the stupid thing herself. There's only one thing she can do - torment the bastard until he coughs up the information.

This is a very short work - novelette length - around 11000 words or 44 (print) pages.

Warning: Frequent foul language, mild sex scenes, and Australian spelling. Not suitable for children.

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Sh*t My Dad Says

Sh*t My Dad Says

Photographs from Sh*t My Dad Says
(Click on Thumbnails to Enlarge)

I have no idea why I'm sopping wet in this photo, but I'm going to guess it's because I rolled in something filthy or spilled something on myself. Hosing me down was my dad's favorite method for cleaning me off.	Here I am with my dad in his garden, which he adores and whose upkeep he takes very seriously. "It's my first love, besides your mother and horse racing. And you and your brothers, too, I suppose," he's said.	My dad used to carry me on his shoulders quite a bit when I was a child--until the time I accidentally urinated on him while I was up there. We were at a neighbor's house and he quickly ran outside, threw me off, ripped off his shirt, then hosed me down like he was from the CDC and I'd come in contact with the Ebola Virus.

My dad is an avid reader, and all throughout my childhood he'd come home after working for 12 hours and we'd sit on the couch and read together.	My family's trip to the Grand Canyon in 1983 was one of only two family vacations we took. It coincided with the time when my dad started to lose his hair, and decided he'd wear hats to mask his increasing baldness. It wasn't long before he changed his tune, tossed the caps, and decided he didn't care what anyone else thought.

---

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Just One Look

Just One Look

Payback isn't a bitch -- it's smokin' hot and sexy in the romantic comedy JUST ONE LOOK!

Limited Time -- Special Low Price! Bonus Features!

What would you do if the gynecologist subbing for your regular doctor turned out to be your old high school crush? Successful psychologist Dr. Jennifer Monroe does what any normal, well-adjusted woman would do. She makes an excuse to send the doctor and nurse from the room, dives into her clothes, and flees!

Unfortunately, her running away makes conscientious Dr. Penrose conclude she has some kind of sexual hangup. He's determined to refer her to another doctor for her health's sake. If he can just talk to her, he'll suggest counseling for what he thinks are her "other" problems.

Jennifer refuses to take his phone calls, and she plans to never see him again. After all, Dallas is a big city. What are the odds that she'd ever run into him again? Even money when Fate lends a hand.

When Jennifer and Matt meet at a charity gala, he earnestly urges her to seek professional help. Jennifer is incensed that he seems to think she's some frigid old maid. All the old high school resentment floods back, fueling her determination to teach him a lesson he won't soon forget.

You know what they say about payback? Well, this payback is a scorcher!. Kids play doctor, but these doctors play seduction games. And they're playing for keeps.

Will Matt recognize Jennifer? Will Jennifer lure him into her bed? Seduction and sex can be pretty funny when both sides play dirty!

Originally print published, reviewers said this about JUST ONE LOOK: "Taking a cue from the Bard's A Comedy of Errors, the refreshing Ms. Reeves delights." (InPrint)

BONUS FEATURES:

Excerpt from OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER by Joan Reeves

Excerpt from THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE by Joan Reeves

Excerpt from SPECIAL DELIVERY by Elaine Raco Chase

Excerpt from IN THE GARDEN OF TEMPTATION by Cynthia Wicklund

Parting Gift: COLLECTION OF WITTY QUOTATIONS (From a Woman's Perspective)

Don't miss this romantic comedy and Bonus Features at a Special Low Price for a limited time.

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Diary of a Mad Fat Girl

Diary of a Mad Fat Girl

Excellent. Witty, funny, descriptive, a page-turner - you name it. This is just a great narrator, and an intelligently written excerpt. This writer truly gets it, and has that gift. As I stated earlier, I would love to see this published because I would be the first in line to buy it. It was that good.

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Sparks Fly (A fun contemporary romance about the "magic" of falling in love)

Sparks Fly (A fun contemporary romance about the "magic" of falling in love)

If you enjoy books by Nora Roberts, Debbie Macomber, Carly Phillips, and Susan Mallery, get ready for SPARKS FLY by Lucy Kevin, a fun contemporary romance (32,000 words / 170 pages) about the "magic" of falling in love.

Angelina Morgan is a beautiful consultant who practices an ancient art form called Feng Shui. Will Scott is an all-business CEO who doesn't believe anything he can't see and touch. With the help of a meddling ex-wife, a well-meaning best friend, and a matchmaking mother, Angelina and Will are about to find out what happens when opposites attract...and sparks fly.

* * *

Lucy Kevin is the author of SEATTLE GIRL (A chick lit contemporary romance about love, dating...and my really big mouth), FALLING FAST (A contemporary romance about secrets, reality TV...and unexpected love), and SPARKS FLY (A fun contemporary romance about the "magic" of falling in love). GABRIELLE (Caught in a love triangle between a good boy, a bad boy...and an ancient curse) has just been released - as a special bonus, five original songs are embedded in the ebook. Lucy is online at lucykevin.blogspot.com, www.twitter.com/lucykevin, and www.facebook.com/pages/Lucy-Kevin/210611032291614.

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Rodrick Rules (Diary of a Wimpy Kid #2)

Rodrick Rules (Diary of a Wimpy Kid #2)

The highly anticipated sequel to the #1 NEW YORK TIMES bestselling book!

Secrets have a way of getting out, especially when a diary is involved.

Whatever you do, don't ask Greg Heffley how he spent his summer vacation, because he definitely doesn't want to talk about it.

As Greg enters the new school year, he's eager to put the past three months behind him . . . and one event in particular.

Unfortunately for Greg, his older brother, Rodrick, knows all about the incident Greg wants to keep under wraps. But secrets have a way of getting out . . . especially when a diary is involved.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules chronicles Greg's attempts to navigate the hazards of middle school, impress the girls, steer clear of the school talent show, and most important, keep his secret safe.

 

F&P level: T

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The Internet is a Playground: Irreverent Correspondences of an Evil Online Genius

The Internet is a Playground: Irreverent Correspondences of an Evil Online Genius

"There is usually a fine line between genius and insanity, but in this case it has become very blurred. Some of the funniest and most clever writing I have read in years." (Terrance Fielding, WIRED magazine)

"I laughed so hard and uncontrollably I could hardly breathe. Reading this on public transport is not a good idea." (Penthouse magazine)

"Brilliantly funny." (Jezebel.com)

From the notorious Internet troublemaker who brought the world the explosively popular "Next Time I'll Spend the Money on Drugs Instead", in which he attempted to pay his chiropractor with a picture he drew of a spider; "Please Design a Logo for Me. With Pie Charts. For Free," which has been described as one of the most passed-on viral e-mails of all time; and, most recently, the staggeringly popular "Missing Missy", which has appeared everywhere from The Guardian to Jezebel to Andrew Sullivan's The Daily Dish, comes this profoundly funny collection of irreverent Internet mischief and comedy.

Featuring all of Thorne's viral success, including "Missing Missy", The Internet Is a Playground culls together every article and e- mail from Thorne's wildly popular website 27bslash6.com, as well as enough new material, available only in these pages, to keep you laughing-and, indeed, crying-until Thorne's next stroke-of-genius prank. Or hilarious hoax. Or well-publicized almost-stint in jail (really).

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How to Become Smarter

How to Become Smarter

This book describes techniques for improving mental abilities. Some of the things it can help you to achieve include the following:

• Depending on circumstances, use different lifestyles that improve one or another mental function.
• Experience euphoria without drugs and come up with new ideas, when needed.
• Slow down and prevent yourself from making rash, impulsive decisions, when necessary.
• Sharpen your wit, become more talkative, and entertain people.
• When necessary, lower your mood and increase emotional tension, which can help reduce procrastination.
• Increase your score on intelligence or general aptitude tests.
• Concentrate on reading and writing for many hours daily.
• Increase your grade point average if you are a student or improve your job productivity if you are a knowledge worker.
• Get along with people and live without arguments and conflicts.

The proposed methods are brief cooling or heating of the body (water therapy) and three different "smart diets," each suitable for a different type of task. The text also describes a "depressant diet," which is not a smart diet but can improve self-control and sleep. The strict diets do not have to be used on a permanent basis and the conventional food pyramid is recommended most of the time. Several useful social skills and studying/writing techniques are also discussed as well as the role of luck in personal achievement.
Most authors in this field will tell you that you should read more books, solve mental puzzles, buy their nutritional supplements, sleep well, exercise, etc., in order to get smarter. In contrast, this book is proposing moderately cold hydrotherapy and a smart diet (which involves avoiding all dietary supplements). To give another example, most books on anger management say that you should try to change your thinking in order to overcome anger, while this book suggests hot hydrotherapy and the exclusion of certain foods from your diet. The main focus of discussion in this text is on changing the biological workings of the brain, not on pop psychology. Particularly, the book describes various combinations of diets and hydrotherapy that have the following effects: sedative/sleep-promoting, stimulant/wakefulness-promoting, attention-enhancing, antianxiety, antidepressant, mood-stabilizing (mood-lowering), and euphoriant. Additionally, existing scientific evidence of pain-reducing, fever-reducing, anti-fatigue, immunostimulatory, antinausea, and anti-inflammatory effects of hydrotherapy is also presented. The possible side effects of the diets and hydrotherapy are discussed as well.
Despite its technical content, the book is written in an accessible language and has an informative summary for each chapter and a list of key points at the end of each section. Most of the claims in the bulleted list above are supported by a theory and the author's personal experience (a healthy subject). About a half of these claims are directly supported by previously published scientific studies, including the claim about intelligence tests. The author's academic transcripts and test scores have been documented and can be verified independently. You can read 10% of the book for free, directly in your browser, if you visit the web page of the paperback edition on Amazon.com and click on "Read first chapter FREE" on the right-hand side of the page (this feature works in the majority of web browsers).

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